Monday, July 21, 2008

Humans – We come in all shapes and minds

Ah…the first day back at school, and it was really a goodie.
We were discussing “The Room 1 Adventure” (our class trip this week, Wed – Fri), and the group were already very curious about the lodge’s layout and boundaries. I eagerly drew a diagram on the small whiteboard where we were sitting, (up the back of the classroom, on the floor together), and explained, “This is the lodge…this is the ablutions block – which means toilets and showers – this is the container that contains the kayaks and archery equipment we will use, and this is the trampoline – which, according to my drawing, is apparently the same size as the ablutions building. Not to scale…at all.” (Here I shook my head and pursed my lips as I turned to face the group.) Most students laughed (easy crowd). More hands flew up with questions about whether mp3 players would be permitted, what time lights-out would be, and what would be on the menu…and then, the whopper; “Mrs Cook, how many people are allowed on the trampoline if it’s as big as a building?!” She is 12 years old. Bless her.
The day’s entertainment did not end there.
Tonight I swung by a gourmet pizza place, ordered, and sat on a stool to wait. A gentleman in a dark green bush jacket, jeans, and a golfy-old-man-cap entered and moved towards a table behind me. He then came over, and tapping an image on a folded-back property magazine asked, “Were you looking at this? Just now? Were you looking at this?” I turned to half-face him, and wasn’t sure if he felt this was his magazine or what, but truthfully answered, “No, sorry”. As I went to turn back to face the direction I had been, he then went on, “I just made an offer on this house, and it was just left laying here, open to that page! This stuff happens to me all the time!” I offered him a very bright, teacher-like, “Oh!” – which I felt successfully stifled my desire to sound out the Twilight Zone theme, wide-eyed.
I decided it was an opportune time to take advantage of the adjoining video store, and left to browse while my pizza was being made. I knew I wasn’t going to rent anything, with half of The 4400 season 3 left to watch at home, but I enjoyed scanning the titles and covers nonetheless. I was the only potential customer in store…and so when I felt it was about time to leave, I contemplated asking the employee at the counter if he had Gattaca on BluRay – just so that he felt useful (I could see the answer was “no” – but figured such a question would establish why I was leaving empty-handed; “You can’t help me.”) – I decided against it.
As I went to the leave the store, who should enter, but the man in the dark green bush jacket, jeans, and golfy-old-man-cap! He went directly to the counter and asked, “Do you have any Winona Ryder movies?” It was at this point that I think my jaw dropped with absolute enthrallment – what a fascinating human bush-jacket-man was shaping out to be. The attendant calmly responded, “Was there anything in particular you were after?” Bush-jacket-man shook his head sharply, “No, just anything you’ve got with Winona Ryder”. I watched the employee’s lip corners tighten uncomfortably and his eyes squint as he looked at the computer screen in front of him. I wanted to catch his eye so that I might give him a smile that said, “Isn’t it wonderful when fetish-folk come out to play?” His eyes remained fixed. He then raised his eyebrows as he offered, “Well, I think The Darwin Awards is the most recent of her's we’ve got…” and it was at this point that I realised I would have to rubberneck to watch the rest unfold, as I’d passed the two conversing, and had reached the door – rats.
Bush-jacket-man collected his pizza before me and left. A few minutes later mine was ready, and I exited and got in my car. As I reversed, I saw BJM roar off in a dusty white Subaru – perhaps he stayed to eat his dinner in the car?
What a fascinating, fascinating human.
Related Posts with Thumbnails