Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Little Toilet Humour


From my day at school...

EXCERPT FROM ACT 3, SCENE 2
Enter Studentx.

Studentx -
Excuse me, I have a question.

Teacher - Yes sir, how can I help you?

Studentx - I've just been to the toilet.

Teacher - Mmm hmm (Visibly wary).

Studentx - Well, let's just say that what came out was bigger than what I expected.

Teacher - What's your question?
Studentx - Well, I'm wondering...do I flush?

Teacher - Pause. Does it look like it'll go down?

Studentx - I guess so.

Teacher - Give it a go then. If it doesn't work out...Pause...find the custodian.

EXCERPT FROM ACT 5, SCENE 4

Student1 -
Can I please, please go to the toilet? I did go at lunch-time, but then I drank a lot of
water, and now I really, really need to go, and...

Teacher - Go. Be fast.

Exit Student1.

Teacher auto-scans surroundings, spies aforementioned student, in the hallway.

Student1 sculls something from a rectangular white packet. A packet that looks an awful lot like a powdered soup-mix packet.

Enter Student1.

Teacher - What were you eating in the hallway just now?

Student1 - (Faux-bewildered) Huh?

Teacher - What were you eating in the hallway just now?

Student1 - Soup.
Teacher - Tomato soup?

Student1 - Yes (Blushing).
Teacher - Tomato soup you found sitting next to my laptop, over there? (Teacher points)

Student1 - Ah...yes.

Other students can be heard giggling in the background.
Teacher - My tomato soup.

Student1 - It was tempting.

Teacher - Let me get this straight... You saw my packet of powdered tomato soup. You couldn't resist. You begged me to go to the toilet. You sculled my powdered tomato soup. Dry.

Student1 - I'll buy you a new one.

Teacher - You stole my soup.

Student2 - To classmate beside her. He stole her soup and ate it dry. Without water, or anything. It was her soup. It's very weird if you ask me.
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