Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Reading the Not-so-fine Print

Over the past week I have found a number of things in print rather...curious.
  1. A poster in a Hoyts toilet stall informed me, "You are the 3,654th person to see this poster this week". While I know the advertisers' intended message was, "Advertise here, you'll get so much exposure" the message I got was "3,654 peoples' bums have been on the toilet seat you're sitting on". Now that's exposure I'm not so excited about.
  2. I love Nerds. As in the candy (althooooough...also the other kind). I think perhaps I should have grown out of them by now, but I haven't. I love those neon little pebbles of joy. I do find it amusing, however, that according to the nutrional information panel, each box contains 4.5 servings. It should probably disturb me that the manufacturer must display this recommendation due to the impossibly high level of sugar and colouring contained within. It doesn't.
  3. While Haki and I sat in a medical centre waiting room I observed a young mother and her son (aged around 9). What perplexed me, was that this woman had the term for a female dog printed across her bust in a silver, gothic font. My questions were these: a) Can she read? b) Can her son read? c) If so, which school does he go to? I want to send a sympathy card to his teacher/s d) Does she want to be called by this name? e) Would she slap someone who called her by this name? Or for simply reading her shirt? f) What was her thought process when she purchased it? g) Does she wear this singlet on particular days? h) Are there other singlets? i) Who prints these singlets? j) Is she single? k) If yes, is she optimistic this situation will change? If no, can her partner read? l) Was the singlet a gift? m) If yes, did she like it when she opened it? n) Does her son have a singlet saying "brat"? o) If so, do they ever coordinate their outfits? p) Does she have a female dog? q) If so, what is the dog's name? r) Or is this print a message for the reader - not a label for its wearer? Perhaps it's a rebuke for looking at the wearer's chest? s) Wouldn't that only rebuke females for looking at her chest? t) Did she see me read her chest? u) How can I avoid eye contact? v) If I move closer to Haki and hold his hand, do you think she won't hurt me?
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