Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Haki, the Larrikin

Warning: Some content may offend. There is a toilet...and a human on it. I apologise.

When Haki woke up this morning, he was in a silly mood.

I informed him I had washed his boxing gloves (not because they were sweaty from overuse, but rather that they grew mildew due to the lack thereof.). I laid the pair on the bed (where he was giddily reading New Moon), so that they could continue to dry out in the sun.

Haki proceeded to put the gloves on.

He then posed in ways, I could tell from his repeatedly raised eyebrows, he was certain should cause me to break into hysterics.

Instead, sensing an opportunity presented by his current state, I calmly retrieved the camera and asked, "Do you mind if I take photos of you?"

He obliged. Silly boy.

I think he believed with his hood up he looked more boxer-like.

He then demonstrated his fighting skills...on the blankets covering his lap.

Please note the fighting face.

Haki then explained, "You know what these gloves remind me of?" (Pause) "Whales."

And so began the whale puppet show...

Please note the concentrating puppeteer face.

I should have switched to video, so that you could hear the taller whale's voice; "Hey, get away, that's my seal!"

It was at this point I believe a snicker mistakenly escaped from me. I knew the gig was up - the performance is all about drawing out this response, and once obtained, the curtains usually close.

I switched the camera off and was replacing it in its case when Haki interrupted to get my attention, "Check it out". Haki was now in this pose:

He asked to view the images produced on our little photo-shoot, and expressed disappointment that I had not framed the "fight shot" (last image) tighter so that it looked like he was "really fighting". I have cropped it post-shoot to satisfy his request...and all of you, obviously.

Haki returned the camera to me, and I succeeded in putting it away. I smiled to myself and slowly sang, "You realise, I am forced to share these with others."

Haki, feigning embarrassment (I'm certain), objected, "No. That's not fair. You need my permission."

"I asked your permission before I started taking photos. You seemed fine with it."


Picking his book back up to resume reading, Haki let out a "humph" and hissed; "If you want to make yourself useful, go scan in the photo of me on the toilet playing the guitar."

Haki has been requesting I do this for approximately two years. In fact, every post he reads in which he features solicits this snide comment - as though I am sharing all the wrong things about my husband, and if only I would share the right things; the best things, then people would really get who he is.

This is the photo to which he refers (which, probably for the best, I do not have in higher resolution):

Perhaps it is his expression in this shot...or maybe it is the frequency to which his comeback in any given situation is, "If you want to make yourself useful, go and scan in the photo of me on the toilet playing the guitar,"...something tells me my dear husband likes playing the larrikin.

So today, my love, I grant you your wish. I am "useful", and you are exposed for who you really are. Forgive me for keeping the truth from the people, and painting you in such an unfair light in posts gone by.
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