When it comes to fingernails, short is better

Because they...

• are not high maintenance - time- and money-wise;
• don't break and lead to pain;
  
• are better for playing the piano and guitar;
  
• don't collect grime and make you look like a bum when really you showered an hour ago;
• are allowed on the basketball and netball court;
• don't accidentally scratch other humans;
• don't bend in a way that makes you cringe when you open a soda can;
• make your hands look cooler;
• discourage you from picking at things you shouldn't;
  
• don't make that icky click-clack sound when you drum your fingers on a desk; and
  
• Esky's case, they don't cause you grievous bodily harm.

The only thing I can see going for long nails at this point:

• You could use your pinky nail to grab pesky boogers up your baby's nose.

I welcome you defending your talons, ladies. Men...don't even try - unless you're in a coffin, you shouldn't have those things.

P.S. Avocadoes are yum.