Monday, November 23, 2009

Menu: Linner and Shortcake Surprise

Yesterday after church, I was expecting Haki's mother for a visit - as Haki had invited her. And what better to do when you have extended an invitation to someone to visit than to go take a nap? That is exactly what he did.

And so I donned my spotty apron, plonked Esky in her inflatable ring atop the table next to where I was cooking, turned on some choir music, and began preparing linner (late lunch / early dinner). I laid out three plates, (our boarder, The Scotty, was away with his love), arranged the side salad on each, began browning the chicken, chopped coriander, and narrated my actions for Esky all the while. I washed each of my dishes as I finished with it, and felt very on top of things; together; and in control. I began looking forward to the MIL's arrival, knowing I was so perfectly prepared. I scanned the living room - yes, clean. I looked at the cherub, chewing on a rattle - in such a darling dress - her grandmother was going to love that dress - I call it her "strawberry shortcake dress". Clean house, cute outfit (I decided, after assessing my own get-up), good smells, the darling strawberry shortcake dress, and heavenly music - aaah...so "together". I received a call from a friend who needed some garlic for their Sunday roast - "Sure, come grab it!" - I said with an air of breeziness - the tone of the carefree, "together", relaxed, and unphaseable hostess.

It was not long after the garlic-guest had departed that I heard a grunt from the babe that sounded highly suspect. I turned slowly from stirring my frypan of goodness to face my company, who smiled at me, but then stopped to frown and repeat the same sound. I knew that face...all too well. I thought it best to let her finish her business before opening the "present", and so continued my preparations - I'm unphaseable, I'm unphaseable.

It was 15 minutes until the MIL would arrive, and I thought sufficient time had passed for Esky to be through, so I set all items to simmer, and lifted the babe from the ring.

Here are the things the poo-splosion went on:
  • The darling strawberry shortcake dress;
  • The darling dress' matching undershorts;
  • The white onesie worn underneath the darling dress;
  • The lace-topped socks; and
  • The white church shoes; and
  • The white singlet; and then there was...
  • The spotty apron;
  • The accompanying cute outfit's black cardy and grey skirt;
  • The cute outfit-wearer's arm;
  • The carpet;
  • The pillowcase Miss Strawberry Shortcake was about to be changed on;
  • The wet wipes container; and
  • Apparently, every inch of the now naked baby's legs, back, and tum. Oh, so many folds.
And that, my dears, was when I called out for the slumbering host-to-be to join me and Esky, so we could put two and poo together.

"Unphaseable" hostess status: Muttering phase.
Duration of phase: 4-5 minutes.
Dinner: So-so...but unburned.
Hostess Outfit: Less cute.
Cherub: Still smiling.
Other unchanged variable: Motab.
Winner on the day: Napisan.

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