Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Deplorable Dopplegangers

I was on my way into the sup' to grab some drinks for me and Haki, when I thought I saw someone I shouldn't have.

Someone who is in prison just now. Clayton Weatherston. For those who didn't follow the Sophie Elliot trial, may it suffice to say Weatherston is a murderer...that also disfigured his young female victim (with 216 stab or cut wounds). The killing took place in my own city; Dunedin.

So you can imagine seeing someone who looked just like his press images, walking in a Dunedin suburb, was fairly unsettling.

This sighting got me thinking. How many other people have seen this fellow and shuddered at his resemblance to a sicko? How many have commented? Have any gone so far as to shout abuse?

And so continued my thought process;
  • Of all the people to be a dead ringer for, Weatherston has to be one of the worst. I mean, he's spit-worthy.
  • I suppose there are worse humans. Like, say, Hitler.
  • But if you saw a Hitler look-alike, you might whisper...but I doubt there'd be any spitting or fist-shaking. I mean, he's dead. But Weatherston, he's alive...and local.
  • Actually. The mo' is a choice. People might spit. Or shake a fist. Personal grooming is a choice.
  • But still...dead. Foreign.
  • It'd probably be more inconvenient to look just like a celebrity than a notorious criminal, really...wouldn't it? An occasional fist-shake from the highly assertive...orrrr...paparazzi and fan bombardment?
  • So who would be the absolute worst person to be a spitting image for? (*Giggles*..."spitting image" takes on a whole new meaning if you're the image of someone deplorable.) You are still "you", but your outer skin is a 99% match for someone else. Who is the worst person it could be?
  • Angelina Jolie? You'd get a lot of attention. It would be hard to lead your current life if you looked virtually identical to Angelina Jolie.
  • For me, I think there are worse people I could look like.
  • Say, Osama Bin Laden. Not only would you not be smokin' really couldn't travel anywhere. And using public transport or'd get some serious glares. Also, the beard would be itchy.
  • Yes, I don't think there is anyone I would want to resemble less than Osama.
I shared my verdict with Haki.

He shook his head as we opened drinks and drove on, "A lot of people don't even know that well what he looks like".

"Yeah, but that doesn't change that there's some serious prejudice goin' around towards people that look like him anyway," I defended.

"Not really," Haki said, dismissively.

I thought of all the concrete evidence I had that this prejudice was going on. That would be...24.

Then it occurred to me.

There is someone else it would be worse if I resembled. Someone it would be undeniably life-ruining; most certainly the worst for me to look "just like".

That would be...Haki.

  • "Oh, sorry, I thought you were your husband."
  • "I can't do it. I can't. No. It's like kissing a mirror."
  • Feebly: "Mum? Dad? Muuu-um?"
Not to mention the unlikelihood of this event:


I don't care what you say, is not only what is on the inside, that counts.
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