Thursday, April 29, 2010

Have you ever...

Have you ever...
  • ...found your dreams seeping over into your waking life? I have. This week there was a swarm in my stomach when I caught a police car on my tail in my rear-view mirror. He'd found me! That dirty cop had found me and was going to take me in and frame me for that crime I didn't commit. To think, I had evaded him across that field, and through the forest, only to be caught on the home stretch. Oh yeah, that whole conspiracy against me masterminded by a single evil cop thing = a dream.
  • ...found your waking life seeping over into your dreams? I have. I am in an alternate universe where I live in a skyrise apartment complex and Mormon missionaries are teaching a man that looks a lot like a guy I kind of knew in high school. The missionaries want me to marry the guy they're teaching - because in alternate-universe-land, that's somehow their call. I say, "No," emphatically. The missionaries metamorph into the hosts of some cheap "Tough Love" reality TV show I snatched 13 seconds of on MTV and insist that as long as I refuse to marry perfectly decent, eligible men in favour of this "fantasy man" called "Haki" I've invented, I will live alone, and be miserable. I then battle with the ethical dilemma of whether or not it is better to clear my name and prove myself sane ("Haki does exist! Booya!") OooooOOR let the dream people continue on thinking I am crazy to save them from the brutal explanation that they know nothing, because they are fabrications of my mind.
  • ...put your car-key into the door of a car that looks like yours...but isn't? I haven't. But Haki has. And the key opened the car. He got in, sat down, and looked, puzzled, at the different stereo set-up. He realised it wasn't our car when he turned to the passenger seat and saw a mound of used tissues stacked in what I imagine as the shape of that insanely difficult French cone dessert they always make on Masterchef shows. He got out. Fast. He realised he should relock the (/cough "feral") stranger's car....did so...and walked three or four cars down to our almost-identical car. It was a white Nissan Bluebird...and tissue-free, I might add. P.S. If you keep your used tissues in a mound, I don't think you are really that gross. I just typed "feral" because I thought it made the story better. Don't you think imagining a manic sickly owner of the car makes the story better? C'mon, Haki sat in there and held the wheel!
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