Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Pantless Man

That would husband.

But not in a rude way. Other than it being rude to remain pantless when we have company.

Allow me to explain;

Haki likes to be pantless. In fact, I believe his "relaxation-ometer" has only two readings;
  1. Discomfort (i.e. "How inconvenient that I have to be wearing pants right now") and
  2. "Aaaaaaaaaah" (i.e. "Finally, I'm home and can be pantless and care-free").
Haki has been known to cry, "Yesssss! Finally, I can take my pants off!" A few occasions I have heard this phrase:
  • When we moved into The Lighthouse after sharing an apartment with a boarder - the first day here;
  • The first night home after my mother had returned home after a week-long visit; and
  • All hot evenings after a day at work.
Like strewn infant socks, I regularly come upon discarded man-pants on the floor. I've accepted it. In fact, I'm partial to a bit of pantlessness now and then myself - given that we live on a lifestyle section whereupon neighbours and passers-by are not in window-shot. That's meant to be like "earshot" - not sure if it works. /shrug.

This privacy we now enjoy, I fear, is also causing problems. See, I think Haki has become so accustomed to pantlessness that it is becoming his norm; his default mode. I believe pantlessness is Haki; that donning a bottom-half garment is a woe-begotten hindrance.

My fears have been fed by the discovery of this:

That, folks, is my kitchen table. Where we dine. More specifically, it is an accidental engraving on my kitchen table; an indentation resulting from someone pressing down very hard while writing.

"Someone" writing.

Writing a "Must Remember List". Item 1: "Pants." End of list.

Without such, I can only imagine how The Pantless Man might fare in public;

Then again, there is also an indented maybe it was not where a reminder was written at all, but rather it was where a poster design was drafted; "Say 'No' to pants!" Cross!


I welcome alternative explanations.

Also, please address explanations to "Nancy Drew." /Ahem. /Beam.
(his new header)
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