Sunday, May 9, 2010

My First Mother's Day

You are very sweet to smile so, upon this of all days.

I know you are happy for others.

I also know a small part of you is still longing, even if that part is hidden behind your brave pleasantries.

I’m sorry for that part. And I’m thinking of you too, on Mother’s Day.

Love,
An Ex-Vet-Not-yet


From the Diary of a "Veteran Not-yet"

I sat upon a pew at church, at my husband's side. It was Mother's Day. Young people were distributing flowers and pins for mothers to adorn lapel, collar or chest in commemoration of this special day. A young man stopped not far from me, and retrieved a carnation combination from his tray, and extended it at the end of his straightened arm...to me. Me. Childless. I set to high-speed reasoning how I would react. No need, another tray-bearing youth (a young woman) hissed in the offering fellow's direction, "She's not a mother!" the young man, seeming embarrassed, retracted his arm. Realising her interest in correcting a member of what she seemed to deem the weaker sex had resulted in a good old-fashioned fakey...she moved closer to me and said, "But you can have one if you like." I remember then thinking about how awkward I felt. I replied, "No, you keep it for the mothers." My skin tightened as I smiled, and tipped my head, as if to gesture to all else in the room. The young woman smiled. I smiled back.

Today, there were no flowers. But it was my turn.

I feel incredibly fortunate.

To all mothers - I hope you feel what we have is a privilege.

To Haki - thank you for being my dreamboat.

Also:
  • I am a fan of your carrot-cake muffins and cream cheese icing tradition - long may it last (he also delivers his baked morsels to his mother).
  • I also love the book 'Esky" chose for me, but moreso, your narration as I read it for the first time. You're a special human.
  • Even though the first words you said to me this morning were, "What are you doing up?" I feel very, very loved.
  • You make the best eggs in all the world.
  • I don't care what anybody tells you, doing the dishes is the key to a girl's heart. Thank you for doing them today...especially since when you bake and cook, every conceivable dish and implement gets dirty. x
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