Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Daddy Diaries: The Ultimate Gift

I must preface this post by sharing two important facets of my father's character;
  1. He is a self-admitted nerd. A nerd who regularly comments on the miracle of snagging my mom. This is possibly my favourite thing about my dad.
  2. My dad is a hoarder. His penchant for all bargains, auctions, freebies, collectables and items-with-a-remote-chance-of-usefulness-in-the-future not only resulted in a full garage and ferrit corners within our home, but eventually hiring additional storage space. I am serious. My mother suggested if hoarding was to be his hobby, so be it. Somewhere else.
Onto the Daddy Diary entry...

One November, my dad began building up his upcoming Christmas gifts for us, the three girls (still living at home). I approve of such practice. My anticipation grew, as did my sisters'. A surprise wonderful gift from Dad. A gift Dad already had sorted. A gift so special, he couldn't keep quiet about it.

My first thought was to check his sock drawer for clues. Perhaps sensing our keen interest in investigating the surprise wonderful gift, Dad advised, "They're at the storage unit." Our eyes grew wide - as we were sure he'd just confirmed large gifts; gifts too large to conceal at home.

Flash forward to Christmas day, or some day soon thereafter. One of us noted the distinct absence of three matching gifts from Dad. Dad slapped his knee and said, "You're right! They're still in storage!" We assumed this meant that day, or some day soon, he would rectify this gross error.

Wrong.

In fact, we brought up the missing surprise wonderful gifts the following Christmas.

And the one after that.

Eventually, the unfulfilled "surprise from Dad" became a running family gag.

I'm not sure who asked, but somebody did, "Dad, just tell us what they were. You might as well."

And Dad answered.

"Calculators."

Calculators.

Notes:
  • This is classic my dad. He probably saw three of them in a box labelled "MISC" at a garage sale and thought it was a sign. He would have bought the entire box, of course. And perhaps misplaced it. Or stacked other items on top at further garage sales.
  • Calculators. Calculators were the surprise wonderful gift. Wait, just wonderful gift...since the beans were spilled. Oh wait, just wonderful...since no giving took place.
  • What would you have put lower on your list for "wonderful gifts for little girls from their Daddy"? Me? Nunchucks, Ginsu knives, and a subscription to a political magazine. Would have said they were less than wonderful...but nooooow - I'm not sure if I can think of anything better than a calculator with a bow on it. I think I'd split a side-seam at the sight. Maybe next Kapiti Christmas? /snort Maybe the calculator could come complete with a needle and thread to "fix me up"? /snortontopofsnort
  • Yes, "nerd" is one of the 23 gifts carried over on my father's chromosomes. Thanks, Dad. /wink
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