Monday, April 11, 2011

42 weeks and False Labour

Here's me at 42 weeks, a.k.a. me in what turned out to be false labour...around 5am this morning.I woke up at 3am with regular 30 second contractions.
They went on for 7 hours, increasing to one minute.
Then slowed down.
And now they're gone. And have been for hours...and hours.

False Labour Activities, by Angela
  • Attempt to sleep.
  • Give up on sleeping.
  • Attempt to "rest."
  • Watch your husband sleep.
  • Get out of bed.
  • Watch your daughter sleep.
  • Get dressed.
  • Clean. A lot.
  • Line up the bags (yours, your toddler's, and the baby's); add last minute things (cellphone and charger, current novel, toothbrush etc.)
  • Drop the toddler off at the grandmother's.
  • Go grocery shopping.
  • Talk to a friend who is working in the supermarket at 7:30am. Smile through early contractions.
  • Get the giggles after explaining to your husband that it feels like you're about to do a giant turd in the middle of a deserted produce section.
  • Go to the video store and look for all six episodes of Star Wars for watching during the rest of early labour and any upcoming sleepless nights.
  • When you cannot find the DVDs where they should be, ask the store clerk at the desk, and watch her produce five of the six sought DVDs from the returns pile.
  • Buy your toddler a present "from the baby."
  • Wrap it.
  • Get McD's hashbrowns at the drive-through.
  • Put away the groceries.
  • Attempt to watch Episode I.
  • Fall asleep.
Early Labour Activities, by Haki
  • Sleep.
  • Snore.
  • Shower.
  • Carry the toddler to the car.
  • Drive.
  • Eat at the grandmother's.
  • Watch the food channel at the grandmother's.
  • Sleepwalk through the supermarket.
  • When your labouring wife laughs and says she feels like she's about to do a giant turd in a deserted produce section, with sincere concern, say, "Please don't."
  • Go to the video store and look for all six episodes of Star Wars for watching during the rest of early labour and any upcoming sleepless nights.
  • Appear crestfallen when you cannot find them on the science fiction shelves.
  • Provide a second opinion on the purchase of a gift "from the baby," for the toddler.
  • Become temporarily distracted while shopping.*
  • Drive.
  • Carry the groceries in.
  • Post *this picture on Facebook:
This is my birthing partner, people.
(Who also fell asleep...a much-needed catch-up for both of us while Esky had "Gamma-time." We're ready for round two - whenever that may be...)

Soooooo no baby today...but arrival is imminent.


Biggest negative:
  • Missing Esky.
Biggest positives:
  • No one's talking about "stretching and sweeping" anymore.
  • Star Wars.
  • We'll meet our baby in the next couple of days!
Related Posts with Thumbnails