Tuesday, July 5, 2011

FAQs re Mama & Papa: A Love Story

To satisfy the curious, I give you...(/drumroll on lap)
...a Frequently Asked Questions section!
(and hopefully I've covered most of the things that keep coming up in the comments, emails and texts I've received since I posted some of the details of our meeting and marrying)
Wait a minute, 6 days between your first date and Haki's proposal?

So, you had a really long engagement then?
If 3 months is long, we did.

3 months!?
For us, 3 months was more than enough. It allowed enough time to save for our flights to the temple (where we were to be married), book the date we wanted with some notice, and allow our family to be there. Anyone else that managed to attend or see us on the day was a bonus, in our minds.

We had both received an answer we couldn't ignore - a Spirit speaking directly to our spirits - and so there was no benefit in waiting; our certainty was founded on the source of our confidence, and that was not going to change with time.

Furthermore, our personal standards and beliefs meant we planned to live together (and be intimate.../coughing immaturely) after being married. Who wants to wait years for that? Or as my sister-in-law teased, nudging me on our wedding night (as we were out eating dinner still), "Don't you want to get home and open your present!?"

So Haki was home and "around" after his mission (and before the first date) for quite a while before all of this happened then?
He was home 2 months before we went on our first date. We barely spoke during that time.

You must've spent a lot of time together before you got married then?
Yes and no. We still hadn't been on a date with just the two of us when he proposed! So there was dating left to do, to be sure. The first time I remember being alone-ish* with Haki he paid me the greatest compliment I've ever received. *We think being "alone" in public is best. We also decided we wouldn't kiss in any way that we wouldn't kiss in front of an old grandmother until after we were married. And that's just what we did.

We continued to court while I was in Dunedin - and started travelling to and from every class and meeting together...but I also went home (to the North Island) at the end of the semester, and for the lead-up to our wedding day.

And you said "yes," when you'd never even really been alone with the guy?
Sure did.

As it is alluded to in the super-basic version of our story, "[I] had known for quite some time," that I was going to marry Haki. For almost a year, in fact.

I didn't speak about it with too many people (it sounded crazy), but even from the first mention of his name, I knew something was significant about him. My hair would stand on end, or I would get a sense of warm water washing over me...or, as I described it to my Primary children, recently - it was like my body was the paper mache around a deflated balloon when the balloon was suddenly blown up so that it filled the space within completely, and even felt as though air would rush out to exceed its bounds. That is how I felt...every time Haki was brought up.

Clearly, I wasn't about to start making wedding plans, or even talk about sharing a life with someone I hadn't even met (on earth), and so I lived - I dated, I considered exchange programmes or serving a mission myself, and how my life might pan out.

But my breath catching regularly at the mention of a certain someone reminded me all too often there might be a different course I'd end up taking.

What about Haki - was he so sure?
In our church, we receive special blessings that give us guidance for our lives. Haki's blessing was very specific about who he was looking for in an eternal companion...as was mine. Between these, and the personal revelation we received, we were both very confident.

While on his mission, it was his job to focus on the work - which he did. In fact, after his mother wrote a message bringing me up he ignored her messages for weeks.

But later, he was the one jumping up and down on her bed to announce, "I asked Angela to marry me, and SHE SAID YES!" (I learned this detail only this weekend!)

How did your parents feel about all of this?
My parents were numbered among a small circle to whom I'd disclosed my feelings about this mystery man and how "right for each other," everyone said we were...how it was like all the atoms that made me up were screaming, "They're right you know, don't fight it!" When Haki called my father and asked him if he could marry me (as a traditional token, more than anything), my dad said he trusted my judgement (a real shocker, given what a fool I was as a teenager).

Haki's mother was the biggest advocate for us getting together out of everyone! She was a little shaken when she found out things were unfolding at the pace they did, but she wasn't in the least surprised. As she once told me, she knew her son well enough to know what he would think of me when he returned, and that he'd act on it.

What about your friends - they must've thought you were crazy!
My dearest friends were as excited as I was. But yes, I few people had a negative thing or two to say about our engagement (including people who were hoping Haki was their groom-to-be). A student from my theatre class actually told me we were doomed to fail, and bet me $50, standing on the Leith Bridge at the time, that we would be divorced before a year was out. He still hasn't paid me. Punk.

There is so much more I will tell my children over the years, (and you, should you ask over an 80-cent fluffy, someday), but there you have it; a match I know was literally made in heaven - before we came to this world - so all we did upon finding each other was set about reuniting...as quickly as possible.
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