Saturday, March 31, 2012

Fainting, I does it


Soooo...this week I checked into dental school for a small filling...and checked out of the Accident and Emergency Department of the Hospital more than 5 hours later.  Really.  /sigh

You see,  I fainted.  Multiple times.  I vomited.  Multiple times. And I dozed off in 3-second increments...can you guess?  Yes, more than once Like what I did there?  /eyebrow raise  

I wished for "miracle pregnancy" as the cause.  It wasn't.

The list of proferred possible diagnoses (paraphrased) includes a) a reaction to the local anaesthetic and adrenalin cocktail administered right before the first faint (this theory is supported by the time taken for recovery correlating with the numbness wearing off), and b) wimpishness.

I prefer the first theory.

Yes, I've fainted before.  The last time was years ago -- when I got up and moving too fast, post-IVF egg retrieval (and general anaesthetic).  The time before that was when I first injected hormones in my stomach for IVF.  I only fainted that first time, then I injected myself every day (more than once, many days), had bloods taken like I was a refreshment station for vamp's, and there was no fainting.  The faint before that came with cramps and a miscarriage.  Before that, at the dental school -- when they removed impacted wisdom teeth while I was awake (the anaesthesia didn't work).  Before that, when I watched a scalpel slice open my palm to reduce pressure from a row of infected rowing-oar blisters.  And before that...when I attempted to give blood at high school while one of my "friends" described the needle going into my arm in graphic detail in attempt to psyche me out.  Good job, bro.  I have two other memories of fainting as a child.  Grand Total = 8 prior faints.

In all cases, I remember being completely okay and good to go within 10 minutes. 

Not so this time.

Other notes:
  • I rode in an ambulance for the first time.  An entire block.  That's the distance from the dental school to A&E.  /slapping forehead.
  • I am still finding ACG sticky-patches on my body.  It's somewhat of a party trick in our family.
  • I wish I could apologise personally to each inbound dental patient present for me being outbound on a gurney.
  • I wish I could say "you're welcome" personally to each dental school student on the floor for providing subject matter for their lectures, tutorials, study groups, and water cooler meets.
  • Haki and the MIL's day-plans changed considerably.  Ivy barely has a voice left.
  • I ran into an old colleague, while there.  Not literally, since he was standing and possessing all of his faculties, whereas I was spread eagle possessing a small percentage of my faculties and zero bust support.
  • When discharged, I was crazy-hungry.  Food was required, stat.
  • Every (tolerable-at-the-time) fast food joint we tried was closed.
  • So we bought Fruit Loops for dinner...this seemed perfectly logical at the time.
  • Haki set me up in bed with the laptop and Downton Abbey to recover.  (Haki was a star, generally, of course.)
  • I closed the lid, and slept.  This should reflect the severity of my exhaustion.
  • I'm still tired.  /head scratch.
  • I still need to get that filling done. /hanging head.
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