Sunday, April 22, 2012

Unusual Humans: Rural Edition

Haki (the hubster) currently sells aerial photographs door-to-door for a job.  The market for this product is predominantly rural -- farmers proud of their land, outlook and livelihood.  Consequently, Haki knocks doors out in the country -- doors so far apart he drives between them.  A couple years back we had a boarder who sold for the same company (aerial photography, remember), and between the pair of them, they've clocked up a fine collection of "One night, when I was out selling..." Stories. There's something about coming upon people who have chosen to live in isolation, and coming upon them unannounced, sometimes at odd hours.  And hey -- I'm not judging, there is no hyperbole in saying a good 50% of what I love about living rurally is that I can blur the lines between day and night-wear.  Back to the other rural folk and unexpected visitations from men in the night...

Scott (the dude who boarded with us on weekends a few years back) is a hair or two shy of seven foot tall.  Imagine that knocking on your door.  And while Haki isn't an ent, he cuts a pretty mean shadow on a doorstep.
  • Scott once turned up at a homebirth.  Her husband answered the door.  Scott could see the woman labouring (curled over, and clearly laboooourrrrring), and the husband said, "Ah, my wife is having a baby right now," and Scott replied, "So...should I come back?"
  • Another night, Scott felt and heard something go under his stationwagon wheels while he was driving down a long gravel road on his way to a property.  He unfolded out of his vehicle, then hung his head -- despairing to find a dead housecat.  He found the owner, and made the sombre confession on his doorstep, then escorted him to the remains of his fallen feline.  He apologised profusely.  Then he asked if he was interested in buying some aerial photographs.  He didn't.  But bless them, they parted on friendly terms.  Then Scotty ran over a second cat on the way out.  No......joke.  He then turned around and confessed the same.  That's a seriously cold call.  Notes/Amendements to this tale here.
  • Last week, Haki knocked a door...kinda late (without daylight savings, it's darker), and through the glass pane next to the door he could see a woman home, watching TV in the lounge.  /Knock, knock....peer in.  Apparently she hadn't seen him approaching her threshold, because upon viewing a face materialising at her front window, her teeth flew out of her mouth...she scrambled to catch them.  This story doesn't end with any sales either. 
Care to take a tour through some of my favourite Unusual Human Files? 

How about the movie mutterer, Bush Jacket Man, morbid competition, and puzzling peoplets? And that last one is not about poop.  The one I linked to on the words "about poop," however, is about poop.
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