Friday, May 10, 2013

Puns and Paraprosdokians

A dear friend of mine sent me some "Uncle puns" some time ago (as they shall henceforth be known).  I love corny puns.  It's all in the delivery -- if one shares a corny pun and then slaps their thigh with a barking laugh (showing they know the pun is Uncle-ey), then all is well.   This also must be an occasional occurence. 

Here are some of my favourites (you'll have to add your own guffaws):
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  • A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
  • Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
  • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.
  • I changed my iPhone name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
The leg slap does wonders; I know you know the joke is bad.  And I think you're hilarious.  
Try me.


Also a while back, my mother sent me a forward.  Wait, that was yesterday.  And every other day before that.  (Seriously, Mom, you're not meant to do that).  But one she sent me a while back was a keeper.  It was filled with paraprosdokians (figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected).  Now saying it was a keeper, was not to say it was good.

While I like me a good pun, paraprosdokians I do not like much at all.  They are the overused currency of one too many bank managers, school principals, CEO's and Hollywood films.  I've winced and smiled through many a paraprosdokian as a PA, teacher and audience member.  How do you feel about them?  Even the ones that are bordering on good are a little wince-worthy;
  • Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
  • War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
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