Friday, July 12, 2013

Five (Uninvited) Visitors at 5:00

Gaks [gahks] (noun) -- a term used by Haki to describe any gross bodily substance for which no other term readily springs to mind.

Visiting us, currently, we have:
  1. Snot/Phlegm/Gaks -- in noses, on kids' blanket-tops, on upper lips, in hoicking throats, blocking ears, clogging eye-corners, on tissues, on toilet paper, being spat down the drain, and even in a night-time spittoon.  Ew.
  2. Grade C Vomit -- in ice cream containers, on blankets, on clothing soaking in buckets, on dresses, and filling car seats.  (At least it's only Grade C -- vomit that is occasional and seemingly only related to item 1 -- the snot/phlegm/gaks; i.e. not the spew that cometh forth without mercy, such as with a spew bug, a.k.a. Grade A vomit)
  3. Hired DVDs (a.k.a. survival crutches) -- a variety of titles...apparently loaned so that the humes they're for can beg to watch one DVD we already own over and over.
  4. Unmarked feathery graves -- the cold weather slows the birds down, methinks, because almost daily I find Lucius has left the remains of some poor fowl at the doorstep.
  5. A boob-pistol -- a resident in its usual form, but this alter ego visits when newborn eyes are at risk of gaks appearing...the mighty milk will not only make one fat and seemingly drunk, it will keep eyes gak-free.  Mighty.  And second "ew" if you conjured a visual.
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