Monday, February 1, 2016

Five Bites of Nonsense at 5:00



  1. I knew I was tired when I was typing up a list of responsibilities, and next to one assignment I saw "Shared,"  and said aloud, "Who is Sha-red?" (pronounced to rhyme with "Jared)...then "Ooooooh."  I wrote this thing.  Yesterday.
  2. Ivy retells her vivid dream details about a creature called "Sardinebugs" with such confidence I googled the things.  I was beginning to doubt this could all be her free-associating subconscious.  Surely it was a Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs gag I missed or...something.  Nope.  All Ivy.  Sardinebugs eat spiders and dragons.  When I said, "Not humans.  Well that's good," she replied, "No, they dig into humans and the skin never grows back."  She didn't flinch one bit.  She might has well have preceded her explanation by saying "Fact:", for the tone she used.  Sardinebugs reportedly look like flies without wings, so look out guys.  
  3. Haki's hair often looks better for having been slept on.
  4. On a recent date night, I won four out of five games of pool against Haki.  But to be fair, he lost the games more than I really won them; it appears it is a reasonable strategy to leave so many balls on the table that your opponent must work through a minefield to win.  It doesn't feel like winning, this way.  
  5.  Mia is wearing knickers these days.  Occasionally there are accidents.  I am only going to write about one.  Promise.  Today she said, "I did pee," with an apologetic face, approaching me.  I took her hand and walked with her to the bathroom, where I cheerily said as I whipped down her pants, "It's okay, you're still learning!" then "OOOOOH!  You did more than pee!"  Turd Surprise.  Thud.  At least it thudded, guys.  Thud beats splat in this game every time.  And on the bathroom floor?  Easy. 

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