Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Kid-quote-fest I


I've opted to share less about my kids on the blog in recent years -- because they're older and those are their stories -- but I have their consent to share some quotes I've amassed over the past year and a bit.  Some of you may have heard these stories -- in person, or maybe you're one of my five followers on twitter -- whether they're new or your reminiscing with me, I hope you enjoy!

THINGS MY KIDS HAVE SAID IN THE PAST YEAR OR SO:

*****

Long drive; many games played. One is taking turns naming fictional characters -- the first name of the next you name must start with the letter of the surname of the last one named. 
Mia, shouting exultant after "Willy Wonka": Won Weasley!!!

*****

My kids discuss trivia acquired via silent reading...
Ivy: A peek and guess can be stubborn, you know 
Me: Do you mean...Pekingese? 
All three girls eyes and mouths fly wide

***** 

I read inside while it rains outside and the girls have screen-time
Mia appears, dashes to kitchen 
Mia: This movie is beautiful and nice and makes me thirsty!

*****

Sitting still and quiet next to Ivy, I hear her throat release that weird, whiney spring sound inside we all get sometimes (don't we?) 
I whisper: You've smuggled a frog in your throat?!
Ivy, deadpan: Toad. 

My mistake.

***** 

Ivy: Can you sing me a song at bedtime? 
Me: If you want me to 
Ivy: Great! I'll write down the words for you 
Me: ... 
Ivy: Here you go. It's a song from the book Holes 
Me: So this is a song we don't. know. the melody. for? 
Ivy, eyes closed: Oh, I know it. 
Me: gulp

*****

Mia has recently lost her two top front teeth
Esky, looking at Mia: You kind of look like a vampire! 
Mia, horrified: But I don't want to be a grampa!
(A mondegreen that only really works in a kiwi accent)

*****

Ivy,. to me: You were born in the one-thousands, right?
Me:

*****

Mia: I know I shouldn't say this, but, I need to let you know, I'd really like a surprise party for my birthday.

*****

Esky, pointing to a small gap between furniture: Octopus test, can you fit through there?  

*****

Mia: You all have inny belly buttons, I have an outy belly button; I am New York! 
Esky: Do you mean unique? 
Mia: Yes, newnique!

*****

Reversing out of our drive-way
Squeal from back of car 
Me: What's the matter!? 
Sound of window going down
Ivy: SPIDER! There's a SPIDER on my shoe! 
Thunk. {Reader, she threw her whole shoe out the window.} 
Arachnophobe Esky: Thatta girl!

*****
 
Halloween 2019 answers to "Who are you dressed as?" 
Esky: A unicorn 
Mia: Sacajawea 
Ivy: Venom4 
Person asking:
Ivy: It's a character from a book I'm going to write

*****

Esky: Ow! I just hit my foot on that open drawer! 
Mia: Me too! Do you think it's our enemy or something?

*****

Esky: Can you ever tell just by looking at someone that they'll have a fake voice? 
Me: Can you? 
Esky: Maybe.

*****   

Walking through a bird eco-sanctuary
Ivy: Takahe poo! Make a wish!

*****

Mia: What do you do in an earthquake? 
Me: Get under a strong table, if you can. 
Mia: But we need the honey. I guess we just keep the honey under the table.

*****

Home-school session in the library; I write, Esky reads, Ivy writes, Mia knits. 
The school day ends; schoolers arrive for Lego Club / computer access. 
Mia, stills her needles, turns to me, her expression wan and says: I prefer to knit in quiet.
What have I created?

*****
ImageEsky heads up a page she plans to fill with sketches. Things take an unforeseen turn, as pictured. 
Me: Keep it, see where it takes you 
Esky, ignores me, starts over. REPEATS THE ERROR 
Ivy: Don't fight it, Flute Scamander is speaking to you.


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